Alarm clock just not giving you the old kick in the pants these days? "snooze" and then "snooze" again? Well, folks, I have the answer to your can't-wake-up woes. Invite a team of two GI surgeons to come into your room at 6am, turn on the fluorescent light, say commandingly "we're taking that suction tube out now," have one of them hold your shoulder while the other rapidly un-tapes and then pulls out a tube that has been running through your nose, down your throat, and into your stomach. (Forget you invited them or the whole effect will be lost.) Honestly, that's probably the best way to accomplish said tube removal as any prediscussion would lead to the conclusion that it simply should not be done. But bloody onions, what a way to wake up!
Day 2 post surgery: little less pain, little more energy, slow and steady said the tortoise.
Random observations:
More than half the phlebotomy staff at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania is Russian. And they all announce themselves in the same way: (drawled eastern European accent) "Hellllo, I am he'a to take you blood." It's a little skin-crawly and a little hilarious.
When an anesthesiologist says, "yes, this is going to hurt a lot but after the surgery you won't remember this part happened" did it hurt? If I hurt in a blackout do I say ouch?
......medicated ramblings.....peace to us all - MG
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6 comments:
Are you phoning these in for your mother to post? Does the hospital have WiFi? Did you learn how to say "You've taken enough of my blood" in Russian? Can you listen to NPR in the hospital?
Keep posting! I read a lot about the colon this weekend. Who needs it?! I wish I had mine taken out.
Hope you're feeling better, Mary...getting that tube out of your stomach is half the battle as far as that's concerned. I've been there (different chunk removed, but same principle), and it can get significantly better after surgery. As my doctors at the time said...you've usually been feeling so rotten for so long, you've forgotten what it was like to feel no pain...so it's great when you get to experience that again.
I am so shocked to learn what you're going through. One day you're fine, and the next week you're having your colon removed. Damn. I'm thinking about you, Mary, and sending lots of good thoughts your way. Maybe you should write a book about all this - you're already well on your way!
don't trust doctors! those swine have sold your colon to paris hilton. that rich bitch wasn't in jail! she was stealing your colon. miss hilton was caught on video screaming "it's not fair!" after being told by a lavatory mirror that your colon was the fairest of them all. you'd better get out of the hospital before she finds out about your spleenet.
mary!
i'm going to write a song about your spleenet and sing it to you when you get here.
come to think of it, a spleenet sounds like an instrument that kate winslet would play in one of those period flicks.
your blog shows you to be in bright spirits...for what it's worth, i'm proud of you. can't imagine what you are going through, but i admire your strength and attitude through it.
thinking about you much.
miss claire sends her regards.
Mary,
It's amazing that you have such a good attitude about all of this. We miss you at soccer. I think about you a lot and you are in my prayers. Much love, Emily
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